Hi my name is Key Dotson. I am 28 years young, happily married, and I don’t plan on having children anytime soon. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t hear that I need to hurry up and have children before it’s “too late”. I try to understand others frustrations, because I personally don’t know their beliefs or what they’ve been through in life. But sis, why you worried about when this vagina gone be busted open? However, I listen to all advice, and I never take other people opinions personal.

Where I’m from, having a baby at 14/15 was normal. We had an entire daycare in my high school 🏾 My best friend had 4 kids by the age of 19! I am the third oldest of eleven! Trust me, I’ve witnessed the mom life up close and personal. Am I against it? Absolutely not! I think being a mother is one of the most beautiful experiences any woman could be blessed with. God created women to multiply. However, I personally don’t think it’s fair that so many women will mislead or try to scare women in their late 20’s or 30’s with false information about having children at an “older age” (specifically after 35). Like yeah girl when you are 34 your ovaries are fine, then the day you turn 35 they just start crip walking and all your children will be abnormal? FOH! I also don’t agree that since I’m married that’s supposed to somehow signify that my life is in order so I’m cleared to have children. So women who have children out of wedlock the devil or something? Y’all irk! A married man can leave you just as quick as your “baby daddy” will. We are all still human. Here’s your seat ()
Yes, having children after 35 creates higher risk for fetal abnormalities and infertility, but being under 35 doesn’t exclude you from these risk either. Shouldn’t we talk about these risk with all women? I’ve only worked in the Pediatric community for 9 months, but I’ve been a NICU healthcare provider for years, so trust me when I say, I’ve seen A LOT. We have mothers that are 15-18 years old that have children with Trisomy 21, Heart Defects, Prematurity issues etc. not just women over 35. Age doesn’t determine anything. I’m way more concerned with my family history/genetics, and how well my spouse and I take care of our bodies over age any day. We have patients in their late 40’s and early 50’s delivering healthy babies everyday. Is it harder, yeah sure, but age doesn’t disqualify anyone from having a child.

When most people ask “So why don’t y’all have kids yet” I usually give them 3 short proud answers

0. We love our freedom! We love to being able to get up and go when we feel like it.

1. I don’t want to work when I have children (Lords willing). I told my husband this the very first day we met. I want a lot of kids and I want to be in a position that I’ll never have to work a 9-5 when that time comes. This is just something I’ve always wanted due to personal experiences I’ve been through growing up. I have a great job, and I’m very blessed with the opportunities that I have, but is it selfish to want more for my legacy? Psshhh, naw bruh.

2. Basically number 0. We want to travel and enjoy our 20’s very irresponsibly 🤦🏽‍♀️ When you have children you change as a person. You can’t be careless anymore. Your mindset changes, your body changes, your time changes, your bank account changes. I’m enjoying all that right now and won’t let others “that’s selfish” “you got to grow up” opinions stray me away from literally living my best life.

One day I’m going to have at least 5 children! Yeah I’ll be starting late, but they’ll all be healthy and perfect if that’s what god intends. Either way, I’m going to love those kids with everything in me. I’m not worried about being “the old parent” or chasing kids around at an older age, that’s lazy folks thoughts. Y’all mommas do it when yall drop them kids off, y’all concerned about them? Lords willing, I plan to stay active as long as these legs and arms allow me to. I’m gone be just as fine at 50 then some of y’all gone look at 40 hmmm. “But Key, You’re supposed to kick it in your 40’s”ohhhh like I’m kicking it in my 20’s? I’m gone let you in on my secret. Key gone kick it all her life! Kids or not, that’s what y’all need to understand. A kid may slow down the show, but it ain’t gone stop nothing. Life is given to live.

When my god is ready for me to conceive it will happen. I don’t want to plan it, I just want it to happen. I pray about it sooooo much. I don’t want to feel pressured to have children and I won’t, and you shouldn’t either. Spread your wings and soar this world first. It’s okay to be selfish with your time now. You are not old! You are no where near being old. Getting older is simply a state of mind. I’m not saying you can’t be free with children, but when you only have accountability for yourself, things are a bit easier. Take advantage of the time you have now. Have children when you’re ready and live your best life in the meantime.

I’m currently in Memphis babysitting my 3 beautiful nieces. They literally make my heart melt. I enjoy their company, but I also enjoy giving them back to their parents.