You have to pay attention to those people you have holding your ladder while you’re climbing to the top, some will shake it while you’re not watching - John Gray

Everybody ain’t your friend (In yo momma voice) Sometimes we fail to recognize toxic friendships because we cling onto the memories we have with that person. You’re going to have people in your life that pretends to support you, use you for their own benefit, that’s fake happy for you, that’s competing against you, that’s mooching off of you, etc. It’s important that you are aware of these type of friendships and know what level that you should deal with these people on. Here are 5 type of friends that you don’t need in your life.

The “ME” Friend

You know, that friend that somehow ALWAYS turns the situation back to themselves.
You: I really want to loose 5lbs for my wedding
Them: Well I lost 10lbs for my wedding and...
You: Girl I’m only wearing jumpsuits all summer
Them: Girl I only wear jumpsuits
Like damn, stfu, you irk! I just be looking at folks like, why lie? Be yourself! Those type of friends or dealing with some insecurities that you do not want to be apart of. Because these friends don’t have high self esteem, they use your life experiences and turn them into their own to make themselves feel better. These friends are scary and obsessive. They usually have a hard time keeping friends because they don’t see any fault in themselves. These friends don’t need to be your friend! Cool, cool.


The Emotional Vampire

 That Friend that’s ALWAYS going through some drama. Now skkkrrttt, wait, I’m not saying don’t be there for your girl, but when EVERYTHING is mentally draining for them, it starts to become mentally draining for you. If you have a friend that’s always negative, involved in drama, and never satisfied with anything in life, then you know what I’m talking about. These friends usually want you to feel empathy for them, and your problems can never outweigh theirs. If you ignore this friend, they make you feel guilty. Sometimes our associates/friends needs more help than we can offer. Nobody wants to be in a sad ass drama filled friendship. Get rid of em. Cool, cool.

The Victim

That friend who ain’t NEVER wrong 🙄 and when you call them out on something they blame something else or turn it back on you. They always have an excuse for everything. You’ll find them always complaining, and constantly blaming others for all their problems.
Them: I didn’t get a lunch today because Barbara was 3 mins late coming back
You: Well why didn’t you go when she came back
Them: Well I was pissed and I already lost 3 minutes and it was no point after that but I reported her and blah blah blah. Bihhhhhhhhhhh shutup! You just can’t make them happy. These friends are usually very tit for tat and emotional. If this is your friend, tell them about themselves or get you a new one. Cool, cool.

The Play it safe

Girl that’s so far, don’t go there. Are you sure? Yeah, that friend that’s always telling you the negatives about something when you’re trying to move forward in life. These friends may truly adore you, but these type of friends WILL hold you back in life. These type of friends want to keep you at the same level due to their own insecurities of being left behind. Some may feel as when you progress they’ll lose you, and some just don’t want to see you win. Issa frenemy. Get friends who aspire you and motivate you to accomplish your goals. A friend that’s comfortable and not motivated is worse then a bad frontal. Get you a new friend. Cool, cool.

The “I got the Tea"

That friend who ALWAYS got the tea. Everybody tells her everything, or she probably just nosey AF. This friend is messy! This friend 9 times out of 10 talks about you. 🤷🏽‍♀️ All facts sis. They’ll run and tell you someone else business but will be all in that same person face just for the tea. Issa snake! Don’t trust this friend! First and foremost you shouldn’t care about others folks business especially because no one has all their ish together. Not even Beyonce. 💁🏽‍♀️ This Friend feeds off of drama probably because they have nothing else better going for themselves. Save yourself now, and surround yourself with positive friends. Cool, cool.

The Competitor

These frenemies irk! The truth is they probably never been your friend. They always feel the need to be one up over you. They feel the need to brag often and tell you everything they feel as if you can’t/won’t get. They’ll diminish everything you accomplish.
You: I worked really hard to decorate this party. I went all out.
Them at the party: Oh, this lil set up is cute and simple.
These friends WILL NOT SUPPORT YOU! They’ll pretend not to see things you’ve done just to say “Oh, you did/ you have that” when secretly they’ve been obsessing over it/you all day everyday. They’re always fake happy for you. These friends are creepy. They’ll pretend as if your relationship isn’t important to them, but deep down inside they want to be you. These friends are jealous. Get you a new friend. Cool,cool.

We’ve all experienced or have friends like this in our lives. We may even be or have been “that” friend, and that is okay. As you grow older, you will begin to value and take friendships more seriously. Some friendships are def worth saving and some are not. You have to first address the issue with your friend positively (not through text) and figure out if you want to continue to build. Like I said, some people may be going through some insecurities that you can’t help. You are who you surround your self with! Your friends energy is apart of you.

I haven’t been the best friend in the past and I might have even fallen into one of these categories before. I’m that very insensitive friend. Since I’ve been through so much, it’s easy for me to tell somebody to suck it up and move on when their emotional and mental stability is a lot different from mine. However, I’ve learned and grown from those experiences and I’m working harder to be a better friend everyday. Confide in your friends, build self-esteem, and know when a friendship is bringing you down.